Being someone who has lived in South-East Asia long enough to coin myself as The Local Expat, it is a bit of a paradox. Though my origins are European, my citizenship Australian, graduated in the U.S.; I was born in Thailand, lived in Thailand, Hong Kong, Philippines and again in Thailand, married an Asian, have adult children who are Eurasian and grandchildren even more Asian. My former sister-in-law is Chinese and my nieces and nephew are also Eurasian with grand-nieces more Asian yet again.
Having spent a good majority of my school years in Australia, I have also frequented countries like Malaysia, Singapore, Myanmar/Burma, South Korea and China. You could put it simply, I’m International. I have studied and assimilated into several different cultures as the occasion has arisen. I’m at home in South-East Asia just as much as I am in my ‘home country’ of Australia.
I love all kinds of cuisine including spicy, can eat comfortably without effort with either knife and fork, spoon and fork, chopsticks, and with hand. It is fair to say, more often than not, I forget my skin colour is white, my hair is blonde gone grey, and my eyes are anything but brown-black.
Recently, my husband and I travelled to Singapore to attend the wedding of our eldest son with his Singaporean bride. It was an elaborate Chinese wedding banquet affair, with all the traditional pre-ceremonies. As a cultural enthusiast, I savoured not only the food, but also every festivity. It was not my first time, there was previously my brother’s wedding in Hong Kong decades before. However, this was a brand new experience for me as mother of the groom.
Nervous as I was in first time meeting with the new in-laws, I was warmly welcomed and put at ease within moments. As the day went on, we were able to gradually bond, both mothers crying as the emotion overwhelmed us. At the close of the wedding, the reality dawned on us all, we were now family with a shared bond in our children and future grandchildren. It was a touching moment for each of us.
Looking back after returning to our other home in Thailand, the newly-weds away on their honeymoon, I surprised myself by realising I was the only Caucasian person at the wedding. I had not felt any different from anyone else in the Grand Ballroom, I had not noticed it at all, albeit the one time wait-staff had come to offer me a spoon in place of chopsticks. I politely refused.
Years previously whilst in Australia, my daughter introduced me to one of her school friends. As they walked away, her friend whispered in genuine surprise “Your Mum is white!”
In a world full of countries vastly multi-cultural, with inter-cultural marriage and relationships becoming all the more a common occurrence, you assimilate so seamlessly, yet it takes but the one stark reminder that you stand out amongst the crowd. I own it in that moment. I don’t mind that I’m different, I am uniquely ‘outside of the box’ me. I’m international, multi-cultural, Caucasian on the outside, Asian on the inside, and everything in-between, and oh yeah, I’m proudly Aussie too.
Copyright 2022. Rebecca Laklem.
1 comment
Very well described! I can relate